EssaysFiction

For I so Loved my Neighborhood . . .

A modern parable to enhance your understanding — of how some things make no sense at all.

by Arvin N. Prebost

THESE low-life kids in my neighborhood kept throwing trash in my yard. I have always wanted my neighborhood to be quiet, peaceful, green, and clean. I told them that littering was wrong and low-class, but they would not stop. So I took my own son, who is very well-behaved and respectful, and thrashed him good.

Did those kids stop throwing trash in my yard, when I showed them my beaten-up son, and told them that their trash was responsible for it? A few did, out of guilt, but most of the others still continue to throw trash in my yard, and now think I am pretty weird, to boot.

The few who did stop were initially afraid that I would thrash them too, but I told them that since I had thrashed my own son, my anger and sense of justice were satisfied. I told them to go out into the neighborhood, and tell everyone that I had thrashed my own son, so that they would not have to be thrashed. But if they don’t feel guilty, accept that I have thrashed my own son on their behalf, and, of course, stop throwing trash in my yard . . . well, I am going to boil them alive in a big cauldron that I just bought. . . not right now, but eventually. I will get them, I guarantee it!

I am a pretty serious fellow when it comes to justice. But, at the same time, I extend to these kids my forgiveness, if they will just accept that my son took the just punishment that they so richly deserved from me.

In this way I show my love for these kids — Black, White, rich, poor, male, female; it does not matter. My love has no limits. I am the father, the true father, that they don’t have. I proved that by thrashing my own excellent, innocent son on their behalf. Such is my love for this neighborhood, these kids.

And, of course, there’s my cauldron.

* * *

Source: Author

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Camillo Conti, Jr.
Camillo Conti, Jr.
2 July, 2021 6:18 am

What a beautifully written analogy! Thank you, Arvin Prebost.

Mike Mann
Mike Mann
2 July, 2021 4:33 pm

Great undressing of the precious theme of the Christian “gospel,” Mr. Prebost. Satire often does a much better job of exposing the lie than sober analysis. Some time ago, I wrote something similar to what you wrote and sent it to some pastors I know, one of them being a sibling of mine: There are few things more absurd than substitutionary atonement, aka, vicarious redemption. The bizarre nature of this act can be seen by imagining a serial killer whose crimes include rape, torture and murder is absolved of his crimes (sins) and set free after an innocent man (man/god to Christians), known for his flawless character, steps forward and takes his punishment. The judge (playing the role of God) tells Barkevious, “You are now free to go. You have… Read more »

Arvin N. Prebost
Arvin N. Prebost
Reply to  Mike Mann
3 July, 2021 1:29 pm

Well said!

Ralph A. Brandt
Ralph A. Brandt
4 July, 2021 1:45 am

If this story took place in the sixties, the thrashed son would probably find solace in a song by Eric Burdon and the Animals: “We got to get out of this place, if it’s the last thing we ever do.”

Arvin N. Prebost
Arvin N. Prebost
Reply to  Ralph A. Brandt
4 July, 2021 12:47 pm

I am pretty sure that is what all those nice, young Catholic boys said, as they heard the tread of the priest in the hallway, getting nearer and nearer . . .

Schlomo Shekelsteinbergmann
Schlomo Shekelsteinbergmann
Reply to  Arvin N. Prebost
6 July, 2021 6:26 am

The meme, while used for great comedic effect, falls apart when examined under the microscope of statistics. Yes. There are pedophiles in the Roman Catholic Church. Just as there were pedophiles in the Boy Scouts of America organization. Just as there are pedophiles in the population as a whole. The ratio, or percentage in the Roman Catholic Church tracks with the population as a whole and doesn’t deviate much. Basically, what I’m saying is, per-capita, there are no more pedophiles in the priesthood than the laity. We just happen to hear about it as the jews in charge focus the (((information cycle))) on it more heavily. My theory is that it’s an easy way to demoralize and separate man from his faith to allow him to swallow the swill of… Read more »

Arvin N. Prebost
Arvin N. Prebost
Reply to  Schlomo Shekelsteinbergmann
6 July, 2021 11:48 am

I basically agree, Schlomo, and that is what is sad because the Christian Church boasts that it is made up of “new creatures” who are “born again” and who have “crucified the old nature” and “put on the mind of Christ.”

The Boy Scouts and other organizations don’t make those claims. One would expect the Church to be just a mite better, since the Atonement made it possible to have one’s “old garments washed white as snow in the blood of the Lamb” by these supernatural means.

Or does it? Pretty bold claims!

Truthweed
Truthweed
Reply to  Arvin N. Prebost
6 July, 2021 5:36 pm

The Boy Scouts of America, if it continues to exist, should sue those who lobbied to introduce homosexuals into its ranks. There is still a need for a scout organization, and a new organization can point to the old organization’s disaster to justify its right to follow the original principles of scouting.

Schlomo Shekelsteinbergmann
Schlomo Shekelsteinbergmann
Reply to  Truthweed
9 September, 2021 6:10 pm

I think the regressive left’s problem with the BSA was that it was analogous to the Hitler Youth. Both organizations focused on bettering young boys and men to enter a Christian society with pride in one’s country.

This makes the jewish parasite seethe, so of course it used its pilpul to lobby the organization to allow predators into the ranks of those whom the members and families trusted most.

It’s an old, tired pattern that we keep falling for.

Josef Tone
Josef Tone
7 July, 2021 4:37 pm

This concept can be taken further, to our “Global School Bus”…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2q4NPa56v0

.

Freddie
Freddie
6 September, 2021 12:54 am

hahaha. well done.