It’s a Wonderful Race
by James Bronson
THERE ONCE WAS a college freshman named George who thought he knew it all. One night over dinner, George got into an argument with his father. The argument began when the young student tried to explain to his father that as White people, they should be held accountable for all the evils that they had inflicted upon non-Whites throughout history. George explained: “Because of European racism, we stole the Indians’ land, we held Blacks in slavery, we persecuted the Jews, and we plundered the environment. We’ve been oppressive racists for thousands of years so it’s only fair that we pay economic reparations for all the harm we’ve done to the world. I’m pleased to see that we are ending our political and economic domination of the oppressed peoples.”
George’s dad was shocked to hear such talk. “Who put such commie-pinko nonsense into your head, boy?” the father asked.
To which the son replied: “That’s the truth dad. My anthropology professor, Dr. Irving Silverstein, says so. He ought to know. Dr. Silverstein is a well-respected Ph.D. People of your generation just don’t understand because you were raised in a White supremacist, racist society. That’s why I’ve come to admire Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King as the greatest man in American history. He stood up to the racists of your generation. Because of him, my generation of White kids is completely color blind.”
The father angrily replied: “What nonsense. I’ve always been fair-minded and tolerant of people from all backgrounds and races. I haven’t ‘oppressed’ anybody, and furthermore there’s nothing wrong with being proud of one’s own people, including the European race of people. Your race is in your blood. It’s like an extension of your biological family and you ought to be proud of your European heritage and identity, just like every other racial group in America is proud of its. Why is it OK for them to have a strong sense of racial identity but it’s evil for us Europeans to feel that way?”
The young “intellectual” laughed at his father. “Come on dad, that’s the kind of crap Hitler tried to peddle. Those racist attitudes were discredited years ago. There’s only one race and that’s the human race. Diversity is our greatest strength. Differences in so-called “race” are as insignificant as differences in belly buttons. And besides, UN statistics now show that low White birth rates, along with the fact that we live in an multicultural society, will mean that Europeans and their ethnocentrist and racist culture will have died out by the end of the century,” young George said.
Turning red with anger, the father yelled: “You are a walking cliché, you know that, boy? And you think it’s a good thing that the European peoples of the world will have faded out and ceased to exist?” Young George replied; “I think it’s great! It will mean the end of racism and the end of hate. The oppressed peoples of the world would have been better off if us racist Europeans and other Caucasians had never existed to begin with.”
Suddenly there was a blast of cold wind, an explosion, and a huge smoke cloud. When the smoke had settled, George found himself alone and lost in a cold open field.
An angel named Clarence then appeared to him and said “Well George, you’ve got your wish.”
George asked: “Where am I? What’s going on here? And who are you?”
The angel answered, “George, I’m Clarence the Angel. I was sent here to show you what the world would have been like if Europeans — Whites — had never existed. You now live in a world where Europeans never existed.”
“Oh. That’s cool. I’ll have no problem adapting because there’s not a racist bone in my body. And when I get back to my world, I’ll be able to tell my professor and my friends how great this non-racist world was. Say, I’m freezing out here. Where’s the nearest motel?”
“Motel?” replied the angel. “There are no motels here in what was once called North America. But there are some caves up in those mountains where you can find shelter.”
“Caves? No way, man. I want a nice warm bed to sleep in.”
“I don’t think you understand, George. There are no buildings here in non-White America because the evil Europeans never came here to build them. Whites never existed, remember? The natives live in tents. Would you like to go meet some local Indians? Perhaps they’ll let you stay in a tent.”
“A tent? But it’s 10 degrees outside?…Oh well. It’s better than a cave I suppose. Let’s go talk to these Indians…… Wait a second, are these Indians friendly or hostile?”
“Why, George, that’s a racist question to ask. Just because some Indians were brutal savages who scalped their victims alive, it doesn’t mean they all were”, said the angel sarcastically.
“I know that Clarence. And I’m not a racist. I hate racism. Nonetheless, I’d feel safer if I could have a gun to defend myself if they turn out to be violent.”
“Gun?” replied the angel. “There are no guns for you to defend yourself with. Firearms were invented by evil Europeans. Though, we could make a spear with those twigs over there…”
“That’s too much work. Give me a telephone then. I’ll call the Indians to ask if it’s OK.”
“Telephone”? replied the angel. There are no telephones here. Alexander Graham Bell was another evil White man, so he never existed. No Europeans remember?” “Forget it then,” replied George. “I’ll sleep in the damn cave.”
Upon arriving at the cave, a shivering George asked the angel for a lighter so that he could light a fire. “A lighter?” replied Clarence. “There are no lighters here, and no matches. Those are European gadgets and evil Europeans never existed remember? If you want to get warm, you need to do like the locals do and start rubbing twigs together.”
“Oh come on man! You mean to tell me these people still rub sticks together for fire?”
“That’s right, George. The Indians live exactly as they did before the evil pilgrims arrived from Europe just a few centuries ago.” said the angel sarcastically.
“I refuse to stay in this cold cave and I damn sure ain’t gonna light a fire with twigs, and I refuse to sleep in a teepee. I’ll go to South America. I can make it in a warmer climate and I’ll adapt quickly to the great Incan civilization I learned about at college. Since European racists like Columbus, Cortez and Pizzaro never existed, the Incans will still be there… I need a car.”
“Car?” replied the angel. “There are no cars here. Barsanti and Mead and Daimler and Benz, the evil European inventors of the internal combustion engine, were never born…nor was Henry Ford. There are no paved roads either. This is a world without evil Europeans, remember?”
“No cars! Oh. I’ll just have to take a train.”
“There are no trains in this world either, George. Evil Europeans weren’t here to build locomotive engines or to discover the many uses of coal, oil and gas, or to build trains or lay tracks. But I’ll allow you to cheat just a bit. Grab hold of my magic robe and we’ll fly south.”
George touched the angel’s robe and they flew south until they arrived in an abandoned mud hut in the midst of Incan territory. George was grateful for the warm weather but it wasn’t long until he began to complain about the heat and humidity.
“Clarence, I’m sweating up a storm here. Get me an air-conditioner…please!”
“Air-conditioner?” replied the angel. “There are no air-conditioners here. Air conditioning and refrigeration were inventions created by evil White men.”
“What?!! You mean to tell me that in the year 2019 these people still haven’t figured out a way to keep themselves or their food cool?” a frustrated George asked.
“No George, they haven’t. And they never will.”
“This is ridiculous. Let’s go to the main city to see the Emperor. I can’t live like this. Where’s a car…oh I forget…no cars! Dammit I’ll walk. Let’s go.”
After walking through the jungle for about an hour or so, it began to get dark. George then asked Clarence to give him a flashlight so that he could see. “Flashlight? Sorry George, but Thomas Edison was an evil White man too…and he was never born. There are some branches over there if you want to make a torch.”
“Never mind that!” George shouted back.
By morning, Clarence and George had arrived at the temple of the Incans. A bloody human sacrifice was in progress. George turned to Clarence and cried, “They’re going to butcher that poor soul! Somebody has got to stop this. What horrible murdering beasts! Can’t anyone stop them?”
The angel replied, “I’m afraid not. Ritual killings are commonplace here. Europeans never brought their civilization here, so the old ways continued.”
“This is a horrible place. Get me out of here now!” said George.
‘Where would you like to go?” Clarence replied.
George said: “Take me to Africa, maybe there’s a more advanced and humane civilization there that I can fit into. Where’s the nearest airport?”
“Oh, I forgot…no Wright Brothers.” George said. “How about a boat?”
“Boats?” replied the angel. “I’m afraid the most seaworthy rafts available to you won’t be of much help in crossing the vast Atlantic Ocean. The great Viking sailors and European navigators never existed. No Phoenicians, no Leif Eriksson, no Henry the Navigator, no Columbus, no Magellan, no Hudson and no Robert Fulton. Even if you could build your own ship, there would be no compass for you to navigate with and no sextant either. I’m afraid you’re stuck here, George.”
“Can I touch your robe and fly to Africa then?” asked George.
“You’re cheating again George, but all right. Touch my robe and we’ll fly to Africa.”
When they arrived in Africa, George saw thousands of half-naked African tribesmen being herded along a dirt path. They were guarded by other Africans with spears. “What are they doing to those poor men?” George asked Clarence.
“They are being enslaved by another tribe. Slavery was common in Africa long before the Whites arrived,” Clarence said. “In fact, most of the slaves who were shipped to the Americas were sold to the slave traders by African tribal leaders.”
“That’s so sad,” George said. “I want to meet Martin Luther King. Since his White assassin never existed, this great man should still be alive. He’s probably a great tribal chief somewhere and leader of an advanced civilization. He will free these slaves from their African masters. Take me to him, Clarence.”
Clarence led George to a little hut deep in the heart of Africa. The naked women and children looked at George in wonder. The young men were out on a hunt but the older men stayed behind. George was led to the dingy little hut of the tribal witchdoctor and spiritual leader. There he saw a wild-looking man with a necklace of teeth around his neck and a huge ring pierced through his nose. “What the hell is that?” George asked.
“Meet Witch-doctor Matunbo Lutamba Kinga,” Clarence said. “He never became Reverend Martin Luther King because there were no universities or seminaries built to educate him. Europeans weren’t there to create such opportunities. But he did become the tribe’s spiritual leader. He specializes in casting evil spells. Perhaps he can help you?”
The witch doctor gazed in wonder at George. Then he motioned to his henchmen to seize young George. The tribesmen grabbed hold of George and tied him to a nearby tree.
“Stop it! Let me go. What are they going to do to me?” cried George hysterically.
“They’re going to perform a ritual killing on you, George. The good doctor King…I mean Kinga — believes that by cutting your heart out while you are still alive, it will bring good fortune and fertility to his tribe,” laughed Clarence.
“Clarence! Clarence! Help me Clarence! Help me!
“But George, you told me that you wanted to go to Africa and to meet your hero Reverend King.”
George said: “This part of Africa has not developed yet. I can see that now. Take me to North Africa where Egypt and Carthage established great civilizations. Just get me out of here, please.”
Just as the witch doctor’s spear was about to carve out George’s heart, George vanished into thin air. He then found himself on the banks of the river Nile in Egypt.
“Thank you, Clarence. Thank you,” George said. “I don’t understand it Clarence. Why does so much of the world remain so brutal and primitive? I learned during Black History Month about many talented black inventors and scientists. Garrett Morgan, George Washington Carver, Benjamin Banneker, Granville Woods. Then there’s Dr. Carson, the preeminent brain surgeon in all of America. Where are these men?”
Clarence replied: “Don’t you understand yet? America, and Africa, exist exactly as they did before the Europeans discovered them. Civilization as you had known it had only been introduced to these people just a few centuries ago by the Europeans. There are no universities, no hospitals, no means of transportation other than animals, no science, no medicine, no machines. In fact, the wheel hasn’t even been discovered in Sub-Saharan Africa! Those Black scientists, inventors, doctors, athletes, and entertainers you speak of were never given the opportunity to realize their full human potential because Europeans weren’t around to introduce higher civilization and learning to them. There are no George Washington Carvers in this non-European world, no Dr. Carsons, no Booker T. Washingtons, no Benjamin Bannekers, no Michael Jordans, no Oprah Winfreys, no Bill Cosbys, no…”
“Stop it! That can’t be!” cried George. “Let’s walk over to the great pyramids of Egypt right now and I’ll show you one of the great wonders of the world …built by non-Whites.”
They walked a few miles before George stopped and asked where the nearest toilet was. “Toilets?” replied the angel. There are no toilets or urinals in this world. Plumbing was developed by evil Europeans. The people in this non-White world still relieve themselves in open fields.”
Clarence turned around so George could do his business. “I need some toilet paper.” George said.
“Toilet paper?” replied the angel. “There…”
“I know. I know. Toilet paper hasn’t been invented yet. Just hand me a rag then.”
Clarence obliged and the two of them went on their way.
“I don’t understand. According to my recollections from Geography class, the great pyramids should be near this very spot. We ought to be able to see them from miles away,” said George.
“Well, George, I’m sure your professors at the college never told you this, but the ancient Egyptians were not black or brown. They were Caucasians; somewhat different from Europeans but White enough to be wiped out by your wish. The anthropologists who examined the Egyptian mummies confirmed this fact. There are no pyramids and no Sphinx either. And the Carthaginians were Caucasian too.”
George became depressed, but he was determined to prove his beliefs. “What’s in Europe?” he asked.
“Europe became populated by Huns and other Asiatic tribes. They’ve settled down a bit but life is much the same as it is in North America. A nomadic existence based on hunting and food gathering. No great cities, no science, no buildings, no culture, no fine art – just a hard daily struggle against life and the elements of nature. In a Europe without evil Whites, the Roman Empire never existed nor did the Greeks. There was no Renaissance either.”
“Take me to Asia then. Surely the great civilizations of Persia, India, China, and Japan will suit me,” George said. “Clarence, to the Taj Mahal please.”
“The Taj Mahal?” replied the angel. “Don’t you know that the ancient Persian and Indian civilizations were established by ancient Indo-European tribes who eventually crossed the Himalayas? They are the ones who civilized India and built the Taj Mahal. Those are the great civilizations that Marco Polo, Columbus, and others were searching for. Did you know that Iran is Persian for “land of the Aryan”?
George said: “Don’t tell me that the Indians were White men! That can’t be. In the world I came from, I knew many Indians and they were not White!”
Clarence explained: “As the centuries passed, the Indo-Europeans who created Indian civilization intermarried with the native majorities who populated the Indian subcontinent. Gradually there were less and less evil White people until they faded out almost completely, along with the advanced civilization they had built. You will notice that there are still a few white-skinned and fair-haired Indians and Pakistanis around today — in the world you came from that is.”
George became worried. He knew he could never fit into the harsh primitive world he had been thrust into. Suddenly he thought of Japan. “Japan! I’ll show you now Clarence. Take me to Japan. If the Japanese can make TVs and cameras then I’m sure I’ll find a decent civilization that I can live in.”
Clarence transported George to Japan. George observed that Japanese society was the most orderly, advanced and civil that he had seen, but it seemed as if almost everyone was a rice farmer, a fisherman, or a soldier. There were no cars, no skyscapers, no lights, no stereos, no sciences, no technologies, and no universities. It was a stagnant agricultural society that seemed to have reached its high water mark and was incapable of moving forward. George knew he could not live here either.
Clarence explained to George: “Even the industrious Japanese and Chinese peoples had to rely on the evil Europeans to build the modern Asia that you had in mind. In this world, Japan exists exactly as it did before Commodore Perry’s American naval ships arrived in Japan in the 1850s. There’s no industry, no technology, no Fuji film, no Sony, no Hitachi, no Panasonic, no Toyota, no Sushi bars, no baseball…none of the trappings or comforts of modern life. These things don’t exist in Japan or anywhere else because Europeans weren’t there to create them and share them with the rest of the world. Would you care for a bowl of rice, George?”
George began to feel sick in both his body and his mind. Not only was he depressed, but exposure to the harsh elements of nature had left him physically ill. “Clarence, I seem to have contracted some type of sickness. I must have some anti-biotics.”
“Anti-biotics? There’s no…”
“Oh shut up already! Then just take me back to the world as it was!”
“Sorry George. I’m not authorized to do that. Only my boss can make that call.”
Clarence said to him: “You see, George. Your father was right. You really had a wonderful race. Don’t you see what a foolish mistake it is to be ashamed and guilty about your own people, and to let them die out? This is what the world would be like without the creative spark of Edison and Ford and Pasteur and Marconi. No great scientists, or mathematicians, or inventors or fine artists. No Archimedes, no Aristotle, no Socrates, no Alexander, no Renaissance, no Newton, no Kepler, no Goddard, no Mendel, no Tesla, no Faraday, no Gutenberg, no Shakespeare, no Dickens, no Twain, no Mozart, no Beethoven, no da Vinci, no Michelangelo, no Galileo, no Copernicus. No Venice, no Paris, no Lisbon, no Madrid, no Zurich, no Berlin, no St. Petersburg, no Budapest, no Rome, no Milan, no Vienna, no London, no New York, no Rio, no Sydney. No orchestras, no museums, no universities, no hospitals, no libraries, no theaters, no radio, no books, no television, no electricity, no refrigeration, no heating, no plumbing, no houses, no steel, no stadiums, no cars, no planes, no trains, no ships, no dentists, no surgeons, no computers, no telephones, and most important — there’s no creative genius to be found that could create and sustain such a high level of civilization. There’s nothing for the people of this world to build upon. It’s just a daily struggle for subsistence. It’s a brutal planet where the few people who aren’t mired in eternal ignorance and darkness have reached their peak of civilization and are advancing no further.”
Clarence went on to lecture the broken and depressed young man for seven days straight. He covered everything. History, science, economics, philosophy, art, literature, fine music, architecture, medicine, politics, agriculture, religion, and all the creations and contributions that the European peoples had made in every conceivable field of human endeavor. George listened closely to every word. He felt like a man who had been reborn.
After his lecture, Clarence the Angel floated away towards heaven. “I hope you have found all this to be educational, and I hope you have learned an important lesson. Enjoy your world, George!” mocked the departing angel.
George began to sob like a baby. It was The Current Year yet he was alone and hungry in a backwards world where Europeans had never existed. He cried out to the stars: “Please God. I see what a fool I’ve been. I understand now what my father was trying to tell me. I want to go back to the world that I came from. A world where Europeans not only existed, but blessed this planet with their unique creative ability. I want to live in a civilized world. Please God!…take me back!…take me back!…Oh God….please.”
Suddenly George was transported back to his college dormitory.
He ran to the shower. “Warm water, and soap! Life is beautiful!” he shouted.
He began to sing — loudly.
George’s roommates looked at him as if he was crazy. “George! Have you gone crazy?” asked a bewildered schoolmate.
“No, my friends, I haven’t taken leave of my senses. I’ve come to them!” George replied. George sang classic European folk songs in the shower. Tears of sheer joy began to stream down his cheeks. The degenerate music he’d liked before lost all of its appeal.
After his shower, George drove to a nearby restaurant and ordered two whole Italian entrees, a Greek salad with Spanish olives and Russian dressing, French wine, German pastry, and English tea.
George said out loud: “Oh, those European peoples and their delicious cuisine. Clarence was right after all. What a wonderful race!”
George was happy, but at the same time he realized there was much work to be done. He thought of all those poor Whites in Rhodesia and South Africa who were being murdered and raped ever since they gave up control of those once-European nations. He thought of the many thousands of qualified Whites who were passed up for good jobs and college entrance because of racial quotas that discriminate against Europeans. He thought about the declining birthrates among all the European nations of the world. George now understood that that his people were on a collision course with worldwide disaster and genocide. George realized that this great people must not perish from the face of the Earth.
George could not wait to see his father. He longed to embrace him and apologize for all of the foolish and disrespectful things he had said to him. But first, George had a score to settle with a certain college professor. He walked into Dr. Silverstein’s auditorium and quietly took a seat in the back row. The nasal-voiced Silverstein was lecturing about racial equality and “White racism.” It was vintage Silverstein. George’s impressionable White schoolmates listened quietly. George raised his hand.
“George? Is that you? I remember you from last semester. I wasn’t aware that you were here today. I failed to recognize you in that shirt and tie, and without your earrings. You must have enjoyed my course so much that you signed up again, eh? Class, I’d like for you to meet George. He was one of my brightest students last semester. He truly has a thorough grasp of the ideas presented in this course. George, would you be so kind as to tell my class about that brilliant term paper you wrote about European racism, imperialism, and the need for monetary reparations?”
George spoke: “Enough! You scheming devil! You liar! How dare you try to corrupt and manipulate our young minds when your filthy lies. We Europeans have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to apologize for, and everything to be proud of. And we don’t owe anybody one thin dime! To the contrary, it is the rest of humanity that owes us a debt which can never be repaid! We are the rightful heirs and protectors of a rich cultural heritage. You vile manipulator! We are the sons of the Romans, the sons of the Greeks, the Celts, the Vikings, the Normans, the Saxons. Why do you inflict shame and guilt upon us? We Europeans didn’t just contribute to civilization… we are civilization! And I declare that I will no longer tolerate you and your kind trying to tear our people down. Never again will we walk on eggshells when we speak, always fearing that we might be called ‘racist.’ I no longer care what creatures like you and your dupes think of me. All that matters is the truth.
“I’m going to set this class straight about who the truly great men of history are – the European statesmen, scientists, explorers, monarchs, navigators, conquerors, inventors, artists, writers, philosophers – the innovative giants of history that you and your ilk have erased from our collective memories. You speak of a world liberated from European influence? Permit me tell your students about such a world, Silverstein, because I can speak from personal experience, you wretched monster!”
Silverstein turned white as a ghost. He was rendered speechless for the first time in his career.
Speaking from the heart as well as the mind, and with an eloquence he never thought he could muster, George broke out into a 60-minute monologue on history, science, philosophy, culture, and all the other attributes that constitute high civilization. The young students were captivated by George’s talk. Many were moved to tears. By the end of his speech, George’s reawakened classmates were thundering their approval. The class gave George a standing ovation. The unstoppable power of truth had melted away years of Jewish guilt-tripping, self hate, wimpishness and cultural brainwashing in just one unforgettable hour. The inspired students proceeded to storm out of Silverstein’s class and vowed never to return. They lifted George up upon their shoulders and carried him out of the auditorium like a conquering hero. With a glint in his eye, George looked up towards the sky, winked and said “Thank you, Clarence.”
Dr. Silverstein was left humiliated and visibly shaken. He knew that these reawakened European kids could never again be brainwashed with “political correctness” and White guilt. Silverstein began to fear that more of these proud European youths would one day reawaken and take their country and civilization back from the Silversteins of the world.
Silverstein lost the battle, but still he tried hard to reassure himself that his side would win the war. “After all,” he thought, “the mass media, Hollywood, the music industry, the colleges, and the public schools are all controlled by my people. Most Whites will never wake up. No… they will never figure it all out until it’s too late.”
Or will they?
* * *