David SimsEssaysHumor

Behold, Cadimella

asrpby David Sims

BEHOLD, Cadimella — Uganda’s “space satellite.”

No. Not really.

Like all other Black African aerospace achievements, Cadimella is a hoax.

It’s an aluminum box, decorated with lights and strips of gadgetry that were probably bought online from Europe, China, or the USA.

But, oooh, see how shiny it is!

See the important-looking flashing yellow light beside it! Look at all the fancy decorative lights! Surely, this must be a very capable device.

No. It isn’t. It’s all illusion.

The “African Space Research Program” (ASRP) sent Cadimella up on a helium-filled balloon in much the same way that a 7th grade girl in California lofted her toy stuffed animal as a middle-school science project.

Yet the Africans think that they have somehow made history.

A few years ago, ASRP director Chris Nsamba was saying that Cadimella would be launched into space and that it would orbit the Earth, collect samples of space dust, and scan space for asteroids on a collision course with Earth. In case other countries tried to shoot down Cadimella, Mr. Nsamba assured us that it could defend itself with “anti-time missiles,” whatever those are.

I posted a question on this subject on Yahoo Answers: “Is the British government aware that African ‘space programs’ are merely scams meant to milk them of money?”

I got these replies:

Dianne – It’s about time Africa learned to feed their population, instead of pretending they have a space programme. And as for Britain giving them money that should be spent on our roads which are an absolute disgrace, charity begins at home and we need a government that puts Britain first. I’m sick of Cameron giving money to foreigners.

Angie – Oh they know, they too are milking the money from these programs. Why else would they be giving away taxpayers’ money when we are in so much debt?

Sherlock – Money goes to despots and disappears. Disappeared money secretly reappears in numbered accounts held in tax havens by those who sent money to despots in the first place.

Neil – Of course they are, but we won’t expose that, if they won’t expose that British ‘development aid’ isn’t actually development aid, but bribe money to curry favor with dictatorial governments.

Gent – Yes, they’re just another excuse for Blacks to milk us.

It was suggested that “You know, we could get rich that way. Pool our money, get a small island somewhere and a can of brown shoe polish. The foreign aid would just start piling in.” Unfortunately, that wouldn’t work. They’d figure out we weren’t Blacks, and then they’d send Interpol after us, and we’d be charged with being White — er, I mean committing fraud. Our inability to pretend the level of stupidity that would be necessary to “pass” would give us away. We’d actually accomplish something, and then the jig would be up.

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Source: Author and S. Strickland

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