Essays

Hillary and Bernie’s America

No one is illegal

by Tim Murray

BERNIE SANDERS and Hillary Clinton were asked in one of their boring debates if they would deport “undocumented” immigrants who have not committed any crimes. Both indicated that they would not. (ILLUSTRATION: Hypocritical protesters: “No one is illegal” — except on their property, of course.)

I am glad to hear that, because I wanted to sneak across the BC-Idaho border, and make my way to Vermont to seek out a better life. The problem is, I have no place to stay. I am a man of meagre means without a passport and I don’t have a Green Card. I am “undocumented”. Therefore, when Senator Sanders is on the road or attending to his Senatorial duties, I plan to sneak into his house and live in the basement.

I know that I need not live in fear, because upon his return, I can infer from his remarks in Miami that Senator Sanders will not kick me out. Not only that, but he would endeavour to create a pathway to American citizenship for me. He would also encourage me to obtain a drivers licence because, with his blessing, the government of Vermont allows illegal aliens to do just that. After all, being able to drive a car is in most cases, an essential job requirement, and it is important that illegal workers have the ability to undercut American wages and displace their jobs. No wonder they call Vermont a “progressive” state.

Should Senator Sanders prove to be inhospitable however, then I shall try my luck at Secretary Clinton’s house. Since she stated that, “We should not be building walls but bringing down barriers”, I expect that her property will be easily accessible. No walls, no fences, no barricades, no doors, no locks on the doors… Should I be discovered, no doubt she will decide to turn a blind eye, because if “No one is illegal”, then it is only logical that “No squatters are illegal”.

I am looking forward to her ascendancy to the Presidency because, like Senator Sanders, she has vowed to resort to Executive Orders to impose her open borders agenda with even more vigour than Obama. If a Republican majority in the Senate and the House will not comply with her wishes, she’ll go full steam ahead, whether the American people like it or not. Behold, the Imperial Presidency.

Forgive me, since I am a Canadian, I am a little rusty on American history, so remind me, why did Americans rebel against King George?

If “President” Hillary Clinton’s principles are applied across the board, we can expect that those who sneak into football stadiums or hockey arenas or theatres without having a ticket will be allowed to stay, as will tourists who arrive without visas. And if you arrive at an exclusive restaurant without a reservation, no problem. In Hillary’s America, nothing will be “exclusive”. No one will be excluded. Except of course, those who are endowed with White Privilege. Just imagine what such an America would be like.

An America with unenforced border controls, countless sanctuary cities, and periodic amnesties to encourage more illegal immigration in the future. An America of 450-500 million people by mid-century. Hey, with Hillary’s determination to broaden and expedite “family re-unification”, the country might be home to half the world by then. This indeed is an “inclusive” vision. How exciting. How “vibrant”.

PS: Apologies for not translating this into Spanish. It wasn’t until I watched this debate that I realized that America now has two official languages. If they hold a debate in Dearborn, I expect that Arabic will get equal time. How about a debate in Lancaster County conducted in English and Pennsylvania Dutch? The more languages the merrier. A ‘progressive’ Tower of Babel would bring Americans together, heal divisions and foster cross-cultural conversations — as multilingual nations typically do. Let’s put all spoken languages in the country on an equal footing. Now here’s a slogan for the future: “No language is official”.

Diversity über alles.

* * *

Source: Council of European Canadians

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